New Movie Artemis Fowl - Movie Review and Buy online

             Artemis Fowl - Movie Review

Artemis Fowl debuts on Disney Plus this Friday I was able to see it early through a screening link that was pretty nice it's been a while since I've seen a film early and been able to give you guys an early review.

 this one was based off the famous book series mostly the first book in that series and it's directed by Kenneth Branagh who last made Cinderella for Disney and Thor this film has been in development hell for a long time all the way since the early 2000s when the books were very popular and they first came out this movie has been passed through many different directors hands many different writers and it's finally landing on Disney Plus this weekend a trailer for it debuted like a year and a half ago then it was pushed back even more and of course with a pandemic it's.


now just being dumped on Disney Plus which is interesting because Disney has been very careful to not put a lot of their films that were supposed to come out like Mulan or New Mutants on Disney Plus but they're comfortable putting Artemis Fowl on Disney Plus why is that I didn't like the remake of Aladdin I didn't like the remake of The Lion King most of Disney's live-action movies of the past few years have been very disappointing for me Artemis Fowl occupies a different category entirely this film is incredibly awful I mean stunningly bad and I went back and watched.

the teaser trailer that debuted a year and a half ago and I can confirm that maybe two or three shots in that teaser are actually in the movie whoever the woman is in the white dress I don't remember seeing that so much of that trailer is not in the film it feels like they shot a trailer they didn't actually have any of that from the movie the young actor they chose for Artemis Fowl ii his name is for dia shaw and this is his first role it's his first credit on IMDB ever I feel so bad for this kid and I mean that completely genuinely this is a terrible performance it feels amateur in every way it feels like whenever he gets one of his lines out his face locks up and he's done with his line reading now but they're still filming him and he's just waiting for someone to feed him another it's embarrassing it's really fucking embarrassing and I feel bad for the kid he's really bad in the movie but honestly.


 the worst part of this film is that it feels like it has no story the core gist of the movie is that Artemis Fowl senior played by Colin Farrell who apparently shot his entire role in like three days his kidnapped and whoever kidnapped him wants this incredible secret device that's going to give them all of these abilities and powers so yeah it's a giant MacGuffin that everyone wants to get so Artemis Fowl ii has to find wherever this thing is so that he can use it as a bargaining chip to get his dad back well there's also this underground world of fairies led by Judi Dench that's basically what the film is about if you were to summarize it on paper.


 but that's really not what the film is about the film has no idea what it's about Josh GAD as a dwarf who is discriminated against because he's a tall dwarf narrates almost the entire movie he shows up and he's being imprisoned and he's talking to the camera as if he's being interrogated and if we're going to have excessive voice over in a movie explaining every plot detail to us it's probably best if you don't sound like this Artemis Fowl was a smart boy a boy filled with intellect and smarts and he was very clever and better than everyone he's our hero and he's better than you I hope you'll like him the first six minutes of the film is entirely exposition I understand the movies require it the first six minutes of this movie is nothing.

but it and itmcontinues so heavy-handed and in-your-face throughout the entire film because they have no idea how to condense this story into 94 minutes by the way this is super short for a debut franchise movie of a popular book series I was about a half an hour into the movie when I realized I still didn't know what the film was trying to be because it sets up Artemis Fowl ii and his world and how he's like this smart little brat that everyone apparently is supposed to like even though he has nothing interesting about him whatsoever and he's kind of really annoying then all of a sudden we're down to the faeries world and we're meeting troll characters that are getting stuck in these time freezes and there's these action sequences there introducing a fairy that really wants to be the best fairy ever in the army of fairies and Judi Dench is the old wise fairies like 800 something years old this story line was a lot more interesting than our title character and it was still really really bad I thought about this and I think this is easily top 10 worst live-action Disney movies ever made it might be top 5 this is barely a movie it's barely a story if you're a fan of these novels you are going to probably hate this this is more of a spy kids movie than it is an Artemis Fowl movie I'm gonna give Artemis Fowl an F this is such a mystery to me 125 million dollar budget apparently just went to this a movie that is directed by someone who has made good films in the past a movie that has talented people in it but for some reason it just feels like a hodgepodge of scenes strung together to make a feature-length runtime it doesn't feel like you watch the story


it doesn't feel like any characters existed within the narrative it just feels like a property that has finally been given a feature film treatment and released in some capacity it's so so bad and it's very disappointing guys thank you so much as always for watching I hope you're having a great weekend and if you do see the film I'm curious to know what other people think about it especially if your major fans of the book series guys thank you as always

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